A cousin of mine, who until this Friday, I thought I was close to, called me to tell me that she and her husband would not be attending my wedding. Now on Tuesday I received her response card saying they would be gladly coming. So, what happened in a few days?
Apparently she realized her 11 year old son has a baseball game that same day and she doesn’t want to scar him, by not being there. (This child plays several sports and has for years, I’m having a hard time excepting that her not being at this game would be that devastating.) While on the phone she told me 1) I would understand when I have children of my own and 2) that I couldn’t be upset that she wasn’t coming. I explained I was very upset she wasn’t coming and she told me she’d see if she could do anything about it and she’d let me know. I was taken aback, I told my fiancé and sister of what happened and the there of us were a little confused. (This is not normal behavior/response from this individual).
So, late Friday night I find a voicemail message from her, telling me “She made a few sacrifices” for me and came to this compromise. Her in-laws will be coming to spend the weekend, and they with her husband will take the son to the baseball game, so she can attend the wedding. That she hopes that I will someday understand the sacrifice she made for me.
Now, First off, I was pissed and this message just made it worse and I did for a few minutes think I may have been over-reacting. I had my sister listen to the message, and last night, one of my aunts and uncle. They all agreed that this was very strange and highly inappropriate. Right now I couldn’t give a S**t if she came to the wedding or not.
I have to say, weddings really help you to see not only who your friends are, but what relatives really think about you. It’s opened my eyes to things I really hadn’t noticed before.
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1 comment:
Weddings do tend to turn people into hellions! You just need to make yourself refuse to get pulled into other people's mind games. Some people always want the attention to be on them, even on someone else's wedding day! I think the standard Miss Manners approved response is something along the lines of "I'm sorry you feel that way. We'll miss you at the wedding." if all else fails, delegate all your grrrr feelings to someone else. :)
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